Precious Time 貴重な時間

The results are in! I’m in!!! And boy, are there lots of forms to fill out!

結果が出た!私が入った!!!そして、わあ、記入しなきゃいけない用紙がいっぱいある!

Honestly, having been through application processes for going to Japan like this before, I didn’t expect to be that exhilarated by the news. And yet, when I stop to think about it, it seems so huge. To be accepted into the program, given an open door to another nation, a ticket to the other side of the world—that’s not an everyday thing. It’s a sign of yet another new chapter, the end of one season and the beginning of another.

正直、このような日本に行くための応募過程したことがあるので、このニュースでとても興奮する期待はなかった。といっても、止まって考えたら、どうも大事なようだ。プログラムに受け入れられること、ほかの国への開いているドアをもらうこと、世界の向こう側への切符-並の物じゃない。新しい章の始めの記号だ。一つの時期の最後でもう一つの時期の最初だ。

I’m also finding that actually getting the official acceptance somehow affects the way people look at me. When I first meet people and tell them that I love Japan, they often don’t understand just how deeply I mean that. They usually hear, “Japan is my hobby,” not “Japan is my obsession,” and so they assume that I’ll be around for a while. They’ll assume that I will stay in the job that I’m in now, or in the community or overall life position that I’m in now, not that there’s anything wrong with any of those things. But I’m serious about my love for Japan. And somehow, being accepted into this program seems to make that more real, more believable. I suppose that sometimes words can only go so far in communication.

そして、実際に、この正式な受け入れをもらうことがなんか人々の私の見方を影響するということを発見している。最初に人々に会って「にほんが大好きだ」と話したら、かれらはたいていそんな言葉の深さが分からない。たいてい彼らの耳で、「日本が趣味だ」と聞いて、「日本が固着観念だ(obsession)」と聞かないので、私が長い間ここにとどまるつもりだと思われるようだ。このままこの仕事にとどまったり、またはこのコミュニティーとかこの人生の立場にとどまると思われる。もちろん、このものには悪いことが全然ない。でも、日本のための愛が真剣だよ。そして、なんか、このプログラムに受け入れられることがそれをもっと真にして、もっと信じやすくするようだ。もしかして、コミュニケーションには、時々、言葉は限界がありそうだ。

But the time I have left in this life position and is indeed precious time. I leave August 1st, which means that from today, the time I have left is 120 days. It seems long on the one hand, but on the other, it seems so short! 120 days to treasure being with family and friends, 120 days to prepare for the journey, 120 days to be fully present in, but not paralyzed by, the here and now. It’s hard to look both forward and backward at the same time, but sometimes that’s what it feels like. I find that’s where I am now. And I want to do now well.

しかし、この人生の立場に残っている時間がどうも貴重な時間だ。8月1日に出かけるので、今日から、残っている時間が120日だ。一方で、長いけど、一方で、ミジカイ!家族と友達と一緒にいるのを大切にする120日、旅路に準備する120日、ここと今に立ち竦まないで、むしろ、立ち会う120日。同時に前と後ろを見るのは難しいけど、時々そんな感じだ。今、私はそこにいると発見している。そして、今をよく出来たい。

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About Stephen

My name is Stephen Gabriel Falke, and I am passionate for all things Japanese. I have been accepted to teach for the JET Program starting 2015. In the past, during my time in college, I also had the chance to participate in a study abroad at Sophia University, Tokyo, Japan, for Japan's 2012 school year. On my blog I write about my love for Japan, my journey to get there and stay there, and my adventures studying and teaching there.
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